I feel better and better about homeschooling each day. I know what I'm doing is right for Kimball at this time, and we are both learning lots of new things. I wanted to talk about a meeting that I had today with the special education teacher, the psychologist, the principal, and the former 3rd grade teacher of Kimball's.

We had Kimball tested for IQ and a learning disability back in November. It has taken this long to get back the results and have them meet with us to discuss the results. WAY too long. Anyway, the main part that Kimball is struggling with is: oooh, reading comprehension. Math was very high, and reading was normal (slow but in the normal range). The pegged his IQ lower than we think it is (sometimes part of the IQ tests involve reading and writing quickly in a response-not too fair in an assessment if you have problems with reading)-and coupled with his low reading comp score-he does NOT qualify for any extra special help. In fact, they are 90% sure that there is some sort of problem or learning disability, but they have to be 93% sure in order to do anything about it. Apparently they are VERY strict on that. So if Kimball were still in public school, he wouldn't be getting any help, would still be very frustrated and probably not learning a whole lot.

Interestingly enough, on the list of interventions that the teacher did, most involved some sort of math help--leveling it down to help him. When I suggested that she needn't do that because he was fully capable of doing grade level work-she didn't think he could live up to the 3rd grade level stuff. At home-he has learned all his multiplication facts and is now on division. What it really boiled down to was Kimball's behavior in the classroom. His self-esteem. When he was spending time looking around at what other kids were doing, he would start to feel like he wasn't doing it fast enough-and would speed up and not understand anything. And he felt the teacher was giving him work and expecting him to just "know" and understand it. This was out of fear of looking bad or dumb. At home, there is NO ONE to compare with. I even told him to read a book to Sam the other day, and he started to complain about that. Then I mentioned that it didn't matter if he read each word right or not, Sam couldn't read, how would he know? That made Kimball feel better and he got right on reading. I have seen less and less of the behavioral problems that were so prevelant in school. This will be the third month of not being in the public school setting for Kimball. And I firmly believe that this is helping him-despite the fact that there are no tests to tell me if it is or not. I don't need those tests to tell me what I can plainly see. Kimball is happy. He works hard in the mornings, does his homework, asks for help when he needs it, and then enjoys being at home. I got the feeling that the public school officials don't think that I'm qualified to teach everything, or that I can help him out where he needs it the most. But I have to say that while they were skeptical about curriculm choices, and how I could have time to teach him all the stuff, they were very nice. The old 3rd grade teacher told me today it wasn't about academics, it was more his behavior. Of course! When any of us adults are frustrated and overwhelmed, what do we do? We usually curl up with a book, work at a hobby we enjoy, watch TV, zone out or something! (Get angry, yell, scream, punch a punching bag or kick the wall--then we have to fix it). What can kids do? In school, they aren't allowed to get frustrated and tell teachers that they don't want to do things-that's called "Oppositional Defiant Disorder". Or if they can't sit still and listen properly then they have ADHD. In fact, I liked this one. The psychologist told me that I should get him tested for ADHD or on meds to help his behavior in the classrooom. I responded, "You can't diagnose that, no one here is a doctor." They naturally and quickly agreed. But I got the feeling that he would be sooo much better on meds and then he could learn. As if THAT would help. Now, if you have been or are on meds, I don't care-that was for your parents or you to decide-just saying that I don't think that is what Kimball needs. I'm forwarding the results to the doctor for an analysis of dyslexia. We won't know what she thinks for awhile. I'm really happy that I pulled him out when I did. And when I was asked if I would be sending him back in 4th grade, I evaded the question saying that we are going to re-evaluate in 6 months to see where he is. Honestly, if he doesn't qualify for help then he is going to be in the same situation as he is now. The work gets harder. Are we just going to push him forward even if he continues to struggle and struggle? I was told that they wouldn't hold him back even if he did not improve. How is that really helping him to succeed? I think that would just kill any self-esteem that he had and eliminate all drive from him to learn anything. Kimball would start to believe in what the teachers thought of him. Instead of believing in himself, and that he is smart and can do anything, despite the fact that he has struggles. Because that is what life is. Struggling but still believing that we can conquer. I do not regret my decision at all. It's not easy, but when was anything really worthwhile ever easy? I'm just glad it was again confirmed today.